Dr. Stephen Madigan’s relational interviewing approach to therapy believes couple’s come for therapy to rescue, repair, recover, revive, reinvigorate, and return their relationship back to the foundational values they may have lost along the way (kindness, respect, love, humour, adventure, fairness). His international award winning approach has been called “highly compassionate” and “the future of Couple Therapy” – and applies to couple’s who intend to either stay together or separate.

Stephen views expressions of relationship conflict (arguing, distance, anger, disrespect, sadness, resentment etc.) are often expressions of:

1) Protesting on behalf of the couple relationship to return to their values and best ways of being together (kindness, respect, caring, intimacy, etc.)

2) Intense and painful grief response after realizing the relationship’s love, connection, joy, and security – has been lost

3) Individualism (there is you and there is me – not a WE) makes it difficult to repair relational values lost if the couple doesn’t first realize that all the good and bad experiences of the relationship – they relationally created together (this does not apply to experiences of gender violence).

Stephen does not hold ‘expert’ opinions on whether the couple decides to repair the relationship or separate. He feels that whatever path the couple decides on going forward, it is important for them to restore and dignify their relationship values that matter most.

Stephen believes couple relationships are relational and are shaped by and influenced through a myriad of other important relationships, responsibilities, expectations, and cultural obligations.

He helps the couple frame their intimate relationship within all the many influences their relationship is embedded within – such as relationships to work, children, family, friends, community, finances, cultural beliefs, generational family differences/beliefs, home renovations, religion, social media, physical and social activities etc. (whew!)

All the other relationships are certainly necessary and life fulfilling however, they will often pull the couple away from their ability to care for their relationship in terms of time, care, support, interest, intimacy, and love.

Stephen helps busy modern couples understand the influence and pressures of never ending responsibilities, expectations, and obligations. He then helps the couple by constructing a map on how they wish to maintain and care for their intimate relationship – going forward.

Couples come to realize that relational conflict is much more than a simple explanation that it’s just about how one or both them have individually failed. Much more.

And just so we are perfectly clear – therapists who simply send couples out for 3 hour weekly ‘date nights’ as a solution to the complexities involved with relational conflict – are clearly missing the point and wasting your time!